Day 3: Pontification and Competition

So, I woke up this morning and weighed in at 192.5 pounds -- 5.5 pounds lighter than just a few days ago. I ate pretty robustly during diner, but was just about starving during the 8-10.30 hours when I'd normally mow down on ice cream or something. The glass of water method works a bit but is a far cry from a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

I thought it appropriate to mention some of the characters in this story, like Michael M from yesterday. Michael M is one of the gang, an pediatric ER doc with an insane work ethic who can go days on end with no sleep. He's a big guy and can run forever. We ran a trail marathon a few months back and he beat my time by a good 3.5 minutes.

Then there's David A. David A, we all say, rides his mountain bike at 110% of what he's capable of, which means he goes real fast and he crashes a lot. Crazy bastard.

Ian C., the Kiwi rugby player. Enough said.

Mark S. He's the rabbit. The guy that's in the best shape of us all. He doesn't like to run, so he says, but when he does he runs fast and far. And no one can catch him on the bike.

Dunvan VP, the creative genius behind all of our group's interest in adventure racing.

Doug M. Doug's a bit on the fringe of the group as of writing, mostly because Mark S is pretty much the only guy that can keep up with him (for awhile at least).

Mark H., another doctor with all the drive and focus of great doctors. He's a roadie, but we try not to hold that against him.

And Jordan M. Jordan hates to be beat and his competitiveness drives him to great things. Jordan travels a lot and his training has been back and forth, but lately he's been on fire - a fire that rekindled my own fire to write this and something of his own self recreation I believe.

It's a funny thing, competitiveness. I'm insanely competitive. I think it's largely a sign of self doubt, insecurity. But, harnessed correctly, I suppose it can bring you to great heights. I battle with how and how not to use competitiveness day in and day out with my two girls. I want to push them, or, better yet, I want them to push themselves. So far, neither seems to have that "killer instinct" where sports or athletics is concerned. Neither seems driven by one goal, a goal to "be great" at one thing or another. This is frustrating to me.

I think it may be how my father thought about me when I was a kid. Things aren't great between us now. That worries me. How to inspire self-confidence and the right amount of a competitive nature, that's the question.